I haven't been blogging lately and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I still am looking for that special someone, maybe because I still haven't found that person, or maybe because I'm on the verge of giving up. Whatever it is, I feel it is intimately related to everything I am going through right now. Frustration in work, lack of meaning in life, absence of someone to spend life with. Everything just seems so in the dark I can't seem to find my own way.
Just recently, I have had a semi-sexual encounter with this person I want to be with, who expectedly doesn't want to be with me. Dude, not wanting to be with me but obligingly having semi-sex with me is so alien in my books that I am having a hard time reconciling what happened to what is real. How can someone have sex with anyone else who fancies them and not expect strings attached?
Life is one pool of swirling confusion in which I don't know if I can keep afloat any longer. And for the first time in my whole life, after what seemed like 26 years of independence, I am actually wishing that somebody would come to save me.
Somebody, please, save me.
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