Manila Skyline

I visited one of my new-found friends in his office yesterday to wrestle from him one of my shirts that I lent him few weeks ago. The office was in PBCom Tower, the highest building in the Philippines (or so they say). I had my mind set up to stay there for only a few minutes, just enough time to give him a minor slap for taking too long to return my shirt. But lo and behold, I stayed a couple more. I was taken by surprise; the view was simply breathtaking. And this is why.

I think I'd visit him again today on the pretext of friendship, but this time, I'm bringing Ker's powerful camera to capture the sight, hehe.. ;p

Gray areas before dawn

"And people have different moral standards. It doesn't matter whether something is right or wrong, what's more important is who deems so…"

"Indeed, the concept does not change. However, the definition does to cope up with circumstances and sometimes, whims."

-M, Lucid Interval

Right and wrong, as concepts, center on two clashing ideas. One is the idea that certain acts are morally and civilly acceptable in today's world, the other is the idea that other acts are not. The fact that people define one activity as morally upright suggests that there is another, contrary to that activity, which is not--thus, the discourse in identifying which among the many clashing acts is right and which is wrong. 

Having said that, I go on to the question of definition. If it were true that people individually define right and wrong, then there will be as many definitions as there are people. Thus, a single act may be defined in infinitely many ways, thereby destroying the concept of two clashing ideas altogether. Ultimately, the concept of morality fails because morality resides in this very opposition.

Thus, in our definitions, there has to be limitations. 

There are acts which cannot be defined as nothing else but right, or nothing else but wrong. In the same vein, there are those which fall in the middle, the so-called "gray" areas of morality. The importance of the person's judgment becomes most apparent in these acts because people are more likely to disagree. 

So in whose hands then should the authority to decide lie? Or perhaps, a better question would be, what criteria should we use to decide?

Truth is relative, not relativist. Truth has many facets (relative), it does not subject itself to the whims or caprice of the person (relativist). The same goes for morality. Although it can be seen differently by many people from different perspectives, it can still constitute the same "right" and, conversely, define the same "wrong." It does not subject itself to the whims or caprice of the person.

Therefore, to answer the question, while it is true that the person judging is important, it is equally imperative to give importance to the concept of moral standards. 

Of course, moral standards are not static, nor are they set in stone. It is granted that these must also adapt with the changing times but only as a result of fruitful dialogue between persons, and not, again, as a mere result of their whims.

P.S.

This has been a fun exercise in intellectual discourse. Thanks Mak.

J's looks, R's personality, and J's intelligence

In one of the many times that I have been looking for the perfect person to be with, K, my bestest best friend, suggested a perfect profile. Combine J's (other J) looks, R's personality, and J's (another J) intelligence, then you'd have one heck of a person that would pass my standards. 

I wish someone like that really exists. So I can finally say, 

"At last, I found you."

XOXO Gossip Boy (Part V of V)

As I said, I’m new at this world. And I suppose, I have lots to learn.

Things that I'm not sure I want to learn.

One, I can’t understand how some of them think about relationships. How can something so precious to me be just as ordinary to some? How can something so valuable in this life as I think it is be not as valuable to others? Don't get me wrong, I am not judging, I am merely asking, hoping to understand.

Two, how can a simple case of miscommunication lead to full-blown arguments in the presence of people who they barely know? A simple and quiet talk would have been fine and would have straighten up the issues entirely. But to lead to face slapping and all? I don’t get that.

Three, how can something so innocent lead to issues which may eventually lead to another set of arguments? How can nothing lead to something which may lead to something else? How come trust in a relationship seem to have played merely a minor role between the lovers? Again, to this point, I am at a total loss.

Argh, I’m so confused. Do I really know what I’m getting myself into? Or more important than that, do I really want to get myself into that? I have been happy and content with my life until I started exploring a world other than my own. Well, I got what I was looking for, but was it the outcome I was hoping for?

Many many people have said before, don’t let your friends choose you, you choose your friends. So my question now is this, did I let this new set of people choose me or have I chosen them?

I have no idea. I don’t know.

Fortunately, another house party is coming up. And I’d reserve judgment until then.

So until the next time, you know you love me, XOXO, Gossip Boy.

XOXO Gossip Boy (Part IV of V)

Few nights ago, I attended a house party thrown by a birthday celebrant, and expectedly, it was fun fun fun.

Until some issues came out later in the drunken night, that is.

First, it was an issue involving J.

Second, something happened involving brothers.

Lastly, apparently, something happened that night which directly involved me.

There is no easy way to say this without sounding defensive, but here it goes anyway: D, nothing happened between me and O. Nor will there ever be something coming from me which will interfere with your relationship.

Believe that.

XOXO, Gossip Boy.

XOXO Gossip Boy (Part III of V)

Few nights ago, I attended a house party thrown by a birthday celebrant, and expectedly, it was fun fun fun.

Until some issues came out later in the drunken night, that is.

First, it was the issue about J and how it left me confused, and lost, and sad.

Second, in the wee hours of dawn the day after, and amidst the swirling drunkenness of all involved, there ensued an argument between brothers. I don’t understand the whole story, partially because I was drunk and partially because I was more concerned about the state of drunkenness of K, R and J. Anyway, since it was, at that time, impossible not to notice what was going on, I surmised that it was an issue about privacy in the household.

At some level I understand both sides. One, I understand the side of the housemates, who expectedly and naturally should have a say as to whom should be invited over the house for sleepovers. I get that. I too would throw a fit if my roomie decided to have someone over without my permission.

But on the other hand, I too understand the other side. As a man in love, the others should understand that now, they are no longer dealing with two separate individuals. Now, their roommate and the person that that roommate is in a relationship with, becomes one and the same. Where one goes, the other follows. Such is the nature of a relationship that no one should even expect that secrets among them would not be revealed.

You see, here is my take on relationships. At first, there are two individual and separate persons. But when these persons decide to be together, they don’t merely become together literally, but they also merge in everything else. Their lives collide and become one such that two paths converge and become one superhighway where the people build their lives together (at least until the time when they separate, and once more, live separate lives).

So I don’t suppose others should blame their roommates for having the person which he is in a relationship with sleepover anytime. Such is the nature of relationships, and that is something that friends, especially brothers, should understand.

Don't you agree?

Until the next time, XOXO, Gossip boy.

XOXO Gossip Boy (Part II of V)

Few nights ago, I attended a house party thrown by a birthday celebrant, and expectedly, it was fun fun fun.

Until some issues came out later in the drunken night, that is.

First, I don’t understand J at all. Where ever this person goes, there seems to be someone else attached to that person, and this despite having a “special someone” in that person’s life. How can someone who is in the frontiers of a budding relationship still sail out in the world of flesh and bones? Doesn’t the term “special someone” mean saying no to others and trying out a new life lived with that someone? I think so, and I used to think that everybody else thinks so. Apparently, I’m wrong. Not many people think the way I do.

And that leaves me confused, and lost, and sad.

XOXO, Gossip boy.

XOXO Gossip Boy (Part I of V)

Changes have been happening to me lately. My horizons are expanding so to speak. I’m meeting new people, understanding other cultures, and getting to know another world—

which frankly I don’t think is liking me, and which I’m not liking either.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some genuinely wonderful people that I’ve met. Those who, despite situations, remain steadfast in a certain moral compass that seems to have been lost to others.

R, a new acquaintance, has been nothing but great. I admire how right and wrong seem to be still right and wrong no matter what. Some people do have the wonderful gift of being kind and understanding and morally upright (at least according to what I see).

There are also others.

G, a part of the older group, and who I terribly miss, has also been wonderful. There is also C, who despite being a part of a group (the new group), seem to have retained her individuality and capacity to accommodate some more people in her life.

But other than these people, I have yet to discover the way in which to deal with the others.

Few nights ago, I attended a house party thrown by a birthday celebrant (Happy Birthday D), and expectedly, it was fun fun fun.

Until some issues came out later in the drunken night, that is.

That night, I have had so many discoveries about myself and about these people amidst whom I am was enjoying myself. And it got me thinking. Hard. I have seen issues on which I have had points of reflection. I'll update you guys regarding those as soon as I can.

Until then, you know you love me, xoxo, gossip boy (hehehe)

Life - Dreams = Job

This true? I hope not.

Happy times

It's fun seeing friends again, the people whom you literally spend every studying day with in law school, the people who have always been there through your shitty recits and crazy exams. Last night, Titit, Sarj and I met up, had dinner (which we rarely, if not never, did when we were still seatmates in the law school) and just hang out and had cupcakes in Serendra (again, definitely not something we did back in the law school). Somehow, the fact that we now are moving in different circles because of our works (or the lack of it, hehe) made me realize how I have taken for granted seeing these people on a daily basis a year ago. 

But oh well oh well, times have changed, and fortunately, we haven't. Hours and hours still went by like dust in the wind, and us not knowing it has already gone. These are happy times. Happy happy times.

Somebody save me

I haven't been blogging lately and I don't know why. Maybe it's because I still am looking for that special someone, maybe because I still haven't found that person, or maybe because I'm on the verge of giving up. Whatever it is, I feel it is intimately related to everything I am going through right now. Frustration in work, lack of meaning in life, absence of someone to spend life with. Everything just seems so in the dark I can't seem to find my own way. 

Just recently, I have had a semi-sexual encounter with this person I want to be with, who expectedly doesn't want to be with me. Dude, not wanting to be with me but obligingly having semi-sex with me is so alien in my books that I am having a hard time reconciling what happened to what is real. How can someone have sex with anyone else who fancies them and not expect strings attached?

Life is one pool of swirling confusion in which I don't know if I can keep afloat any longer. And for the first time in my whole life, after what seemed like 26 years of independence, I am actually wishing that somebody  would come to save me.

Somebody, please, save me.

Scared shitless

For the first time, my Mac hung on me and sported a blank black screen. I was scared shitless, one, because I have never known my Mac to hang, and two, because I have absolutely no idea what to do. Shoot. I called Ker and asked if I should remove the battery to reboot the system. Good thing he said no because a few moments after (it seemed like forever as I recall it), the screen lit up again, returned to the screen I was working on before it hung, and (after consulting apple support using Ker's laptop) I hit the control, command, and power button which eventually rebooted the system.

Shoot, I nearly lost all my senses there. Argh. 

Quickies

That definitely counts as one of the quickest I have ever had. Jeez. Talk about breaking and entering in a hurry--all the while with the thought that someone might just blurt in on you guys and catch you standing right before the door with your pants down, so to speak, tsk tsk.

But then again, that's part of the fun, right? 

Yeah, hehe.. ;p

Hell no

You got another thing coming, man.

Stressful Fun

Saturday was fun but stressful. On the one hand, I was able to assemble this particular group of people who I am really fond of. On the other, I was scared shitless as to the perception it may give me. Oh well, good thing is I've had what I wanted on the day when I can have it. 

Nice.

Testing testing

I'm posting this entry through my e-mail. I know I know this feature has been here since like forever. I already tried it before but it didn't seem to work. Now, I'm trying it again, especially since blogger takes forever to load. Hehe.. ;p

Communication

And so it happens again: exploding emotions from the other side the cause of which I don't know anything about. Hay. I think I am falling for the wrong persons. They would rather keep it to themselves, whatever angst they have, than lash it out upon you and make you face the consequence. My philosophy has always been simple, let the other know what's eating you up inside so that s/he may help or ask for forgiveness for whatever it is that s/he has done. But to keep the other in the dark not only prevents a solution to the problem, it also subjects the other to guesswork, misapprehension of facts and psychological torture.

Everything becomes better if and when people communicate to the other what needs be said. If not, any foundation, no matter how good, will crumble to the ground and shall destroy whatever good things there may have been shared.

And that's sad.

Hold on, I'm coming

There it is again, that feeling of sadness, that longing for someone to hold on to, that overwhelming desire to reach for others and build a relationship with them, heck, and build a life with them. I can't imagine how lonely I'm becoming without that special someone that I've been praying for, that we've all been praying for. The fact that I just read tiggah's blog did not help at all. In fact, it made everything worse. It just made me feel like missing my own pooh. Hay, a few years ago, friends were looking up to me and my relationships as guides. Now, I'm on the other side of the fence, desperately clinging to my past experiences, hoping I could build a better future.

I know you're out there. I know you're waiting for me. Just hold on, ayt? I'm looking for you, I'm coming.

Sun sets

I can't believe that after two years of subscription with Sun Cellular, here I am again, blogging about how inefficient its people are. 

My line got cut two days ago, and today, I settled my account. In the past, it has always been possible to reconnect the line few moments after I had settled my bill. But this time, lo and behold, those freakin people told me that it can't be done. 

Apparently, I exceeded my credit limit (who would have thunk it? Haha) and it cannot be reconnected without settling half of its price. E di syempre na-shock naman ako. Their agent called me five days ago (May 1) informing me that the only amount I had to settle was Php380.00. But no, when I talked (more like argued and shouted, hehe) to the person in the Sun shop as well as to the person in their freakin inefficient hotline, I was supposed to pay Php1,500.00!!! 

Hello! From less than five hundred to more than 1,500? That was too much. Aside from the fact that I was never informed until I was there falling in line to pay up. Grrr. Eh di syempre, as usual, nakarinig sila sakin. Tsk tsk. Some companies really do have to improve their customer relations, especially for those that have been with them for more than two years now (ehem).

Hay nako, now I'm beginning to think renewing my phone line contract for another two years was a damn stupid mistake. The sun really did set down on me this time. Argh.

(Good thing I bumped into Nico after this freakin ordeal. We chatted over dinner which just saved my freakin day. Thanks Nico! Plus I had a tip from him as to who to contact with regard to our new Macs, yey!!! ;p)

Coming home

Whenever life seems to get the best of me, when I feel alone and depressed, when nothing seems to go the way I wished they would be, I come home. I return to the place that, in the early years of my young life, gave me solace, gave me peace, comfort. I return to that big old house, in that small dingy room, where I spent most of my youth, where I read most of my pocket books, where I discovered and began to love myself, where I first learned how to pray. Yes, it has not always been happy, it has not always been quiet, but it has always been home. It is one of the few things that remain constant in my ever changing life, it is one of the few places where I feel grounded and definite in my worth.

People around me always say, keep away from falling in love with the idea of falling in love. True. But easier said than done. When you have experienced what true love is, when you have felt the warmth of real compassion, when you have enjoyed the beauty and growth of true companionship, it is hard not to try to find it again. When you know you have so much love to give, when you feel you have so much to offer, it is difficult to contain it within you. You must give it away, allow somebody to feel that love you have, let them experience and bask in the glory of knowing that no matter what happens, somebody will always be there to have their backs, that they will always have someone to count on.

But life is not always kind. Or more properly, love is not always kind.

I have tried to bare myself to people continuously, repeatedly, but to no avail. I didn’t realize that love unspent is just as difficult as love spent and lost. The overflowing of emotions pent up inside without any other person to whom it is directed leaks like water under the tub. It slowly trickles and empties away. I am afraid that when the day comes, when the right one arrives, I’d be empty inside, drained by the years (or weeks) of fruitless love.

That is why I need to return home. Again. I need to recharge. I need strength. I need to reconnect to that place where I can be alone, to think, in peace. I need that solace, that sanctuary to set my life in order, so when I return, I return with new and renewed conviction. Ready to face life once more.

Until that time when I shall need to, again, come home.

Argh

Sometimes, I wonder if there is something wrong with me. I just feel it is not possible to be turned down twice by two different persons in succession. This is so new I even think it's surreal. How can it freakin be when I have always known my worth? Argh. Life is unfair just as it is complicated.

TOP 5% ako sa 2007 Bar Exams!!!

Yep!!! I'm among the 200+ bar passers who got a grade higher than 75%!!!

YEY!!! ;p