Of Trophies and Goals

I read someone's blog few weeks ago--he, envying his ex-law school classmates who'll take the bar soon, and they, treating him out for lunch in Tagaytay during one of their rare vacations. In the midst of the narrative, I felt a sudden gush of nostalgia when I, too, was still in the law school. Back then, I was determined not to give up and to see it through till the end. I vowed that I will not be among those who will have to leave for whatever reason. I was determined--not to get hold of the trophy, but merely to reach the goal.

So I wonder if the blogger was really envious that his ex-law school classmates are finishing law school and taking the bar soon, or if it is just the frustration of not finishing something he started that was talking.

I finished law school in a good school and with good grades. I also passed the bar, first time and top 5%. But after this, after reaching a seemingly unreachable goal, like my thoughts on the blogger's entry, I now wonder, "Did I really want this in the first place?" 

Or was it just the rush of the race to the finish line that kept me going?