Mr. Nice Guy

No more Mr. Nice Guy.

That's what I used to say when I was still the nice college guy with a nice Catholic background from the province. I guess my teachers back then taught me well. GMRC and values education were not lost on me.

I remember one time in college, when I was at my all time low, one of my best friends, while crying with me, asked, "Bakit ba nangyayari sa'yo 'tong mga to, Jel, eh ang bait-bait mo?" At that time, I too didn't know why those things were happening to me. But I was sure of one thing, I was nice and I didn't deserve them. 

And people liked me for being nice. In fact, I think I became friends with my friends because of it. And we spent the best years of our lives in college because of that.

When I entered law school immediately after college though, there was an entirely different story. I was no longer Mr. Nice Guy. I was the snappy one, ready to devour anyone open to a challenge, ready to retort with the same level of evil thrown at me. At that time, I liked it. In fact, I did everything to be it. I thought it gave me character. 

Not knowing it cost me mine.

Now, when I am again at a low point in my life, I realize friends could no longer say the same things. I am no longer nice. I can no longer say that I don't deserve what befalls me these days.

I wonder if I should forget being who I have become and start becoming who I was. Will my life get better? Will I gain more new friends and regain my old ones? Will I be the same me that was strong not because I was a bully but because I was liked?

I don't know. I hope so. 

I wish he'd come back, Mr. Nice Guy.

(P.S. I wrote this few weeks ago, and I never had a chance to post it. Today, I reckon I didn't have to wait for another low moment in my life to publish this entry. Hence, this post.)