Repost

I wrote the entry below almost two years ago. And I think, I'm in this stage again now. It's funny how so much in me has changed, and yet, so much of what I felt before I'm feeling again now. Melancholy does have its way of seeping in in our lives. And at times, in the most inopportune moments, we break. And we grasp at straws for any sense of explanation to keep us afloat.

These are the moments I hope would

never

come back.

---

Sunday, November 23, 2008

Eight Months

Because I missed partying tonight due to some circumstances beyond my control, melancholy kicked in--or more precisely, the feeling of longing for someone to hold and be with re-surfaced. While surfing the net and hanging out in my usual sites, I remembered the feeling of having someone to converse with during these lonely times. I remembered the feeling of sharing one's life with someone else, and then growing in the process.

More than anything else, it's that connection to someone that keeps me looking back.

I've been single for a few months now. Eight months to be exact. The longest time that I have been single since I was 20. Six years do pass by swiftly, and sometimes, when one gets used to routines all those years, it's hard not to miss it. The comfortable feeling almost always has its way of creeping back to your consciousness.

No matter how much you tell yourself you already changed.

You realize, some things just keep on coming back.

Growing up

I think I'm growing up.

Just came from one of the bars I frequent, and somehow, it's not the same for me anymore. The young kids that usually kept me on my toes do not have the same effect anymore. If anything, what I felt was annoyance. Annoyance at how these kids act, and annoyance at how immature I see them to be.

Somehow, in between my busy work the past weeks, and the lack of a significant other for a couple of months now, I think I lost myself. Or more accurately, I lost my new me and just rediscovered my old self.

One who looks for someone stable. One who goes for something that will last longer.

That, or it was just a lousy night.

I think I'm hoping it's the latter.

Careless Nights (Prelude)

I haven't written anything substantial in a while, and the succeeding entries are no different. Nothing has been happening lately, nothing substantial at least. 

What I do have, however, is endless work, and a patch of endless encounters in between. Whole days devoted to ardent lawyering, and nights consumed by mindless meetings.

These entries are about the latter, the many people I have shared my encounters with, and those careless nights that seemed to have lasted for eternity.

Hold on tight.