that feeling

it's here again, that feeling that crushes my heart in every way possible, that excruciating heaviness of the body, that feeling that i wish would never last. i'm hurting again, i feel betrayed again, insulted even. it's that familiar feeling i feel when persons i'm in relationship with experience jealousy in the presence of exes. it's that sad feeling of not being trusted. and it crushes my heart, more so now than before. im surprised it gets me this easily this fast. i suppose it's because my birthday's just passed. i suppose it's because of my disposition upon knowing it. i dont know for sure. at least not as sure as the fact that i'm sad. really sad. and betrayed. and insulted. and i'm being threatened to give up. and move on. sad.