Ritual of the Lost

When life weighs down on me big time, like it's doing now, I have three things I need to do on my own first before I break down in front of my friends. First is the incessant thinking and wishing. Thinking of what I have done that led me to the predicament I am into and wishing that I hadn't done those things in the first place. 

Then, when I am just about beaten to a pulp due to my continuous wallowing in self-pity, I turn to that place that has always given me solace and comfort, my sanctuary from this real world. There I compose myself, pull on shreds to mend my broken self, and emerge as if I were as good as new. 

Lastly, there comes the resolution that I shall emerge from that pit, that I shall fight back with all my God-given talents, that I shall be me, the fighter, the go-getter, the never-say-die soldier. When this stage comes, I almost always have furrowed eyebrows all the time, ready to snap back at anything and everything that dares provoke me.

Then if and when nothing comes out of it, if after this ritual has been performed and I still am at a lost, it's the time that I call in the troops. It's the time for back up. Time to rant and bash all those that/who caused me pain. I gather strength from the people around me and use it to bounce back.

Then I recover and become happy again.

Then I become stronger.

Then I become ready when, once more, life will pull its rank on me and weigh me down. Big time.