defeat

always, when i feel down and low, i return to blogger. where i can be my own self, without embellishment, without regrets. always i turn to the power of words, to channel my feelings, and unload the burden, of being sad, defeated. always it has borne witness to my wails, in school, in love, in life. it has documented who i am, how i am, and perhaps, how i will always be.

and now, i write again. in here. allowing this space, once more, to record who i am, to remind me of what i am, and how i have always conquered. layers and layers of myself i have bared, and layers and layers left to be bared. i am me. here. now. but sad, with sorrow, defeated. humbled and sad.

i long for that escape. i yearn for that call.

and it may never come.

defeat.