graduation grains

for someone who just received his law school diploma (yes, it was the real diploma and not just any scrap of paper), i remained deafeningly silent. i have no blog entry about it, none about the celebration afterwards, and no written afterthought at all. while i check on a daily basis the ramblings and nostalgic writings of many of my classmates regarding our graduation, i find it funny and indeed quite unusual not to have an output myself. so much had already happened and insights have piled up by now, and yet, i cannot find neither the time nor the energy to go on rambling myself. whew, this is weird.

anyway, for those precious updates about my eqaully precious life, hold on dear readers, i'll try to make time for it soon... ;p

grades and graduation

finally, i have received a copy of all of my grades for the second semester of my fourth year in law school, and thank heavens, i passed all of them. woohoo!!! of course, this means that i'm graduating this Sunday! yeba!!! finally!

i'm not that excited though, and i wonder why. maybe it's because it hasn't sunk in yet. maybe it's due to the upcoming bar exams. maybe because graduation is not really anyting but a symbol of what i have become and what i have accoplished.

dunno, whatever. i wish i'd be excited though... ;p

interviews

i have forgotten how unnerving it is to go through a job interview. i'd be in a conference room two hours from now before a panel of partners in the law firm i apprenticed in and i cannot in any manner calm down my spirit. it's as if butterflies in my tummy suddenly decided to awaken and stir everything in sight, giving me this roller coaster ride of feelings which i could very well do without in the next couple of hours. goodness, i so need a drink right now. argh

final papers

it has always been like this with me. when the time for the final requirement for the final exams comes, my mind slows down--heck, no, lemme correct that, my mind stops. it is as if the potential energy which fuels the inner tickings of my ertswhile complex brain, all of a sudden comes to a halt and refuses to re-ignite altogether. i know, what a bummer, right? especially if the final requirement is a paper that requires "substantial content." that means no copy-and-paste from the internet. that means no other help than quoting huge blocks of statements of people i have never heard of--which doesn't say much for effort, does it? argh, the one week break before the bone breaking bar review is calling out to me, enticing me to come flowing to its bed of roses and bask on its long awaited scent. i so need that vacation, and this last paper turns out to be the last and only hindrance to that paradise sought.

how i wish to fast forward to friday when i can do nothing but relax and, of course, reflect on the lenten season--which brings me back to my original complaint: i need to finish this paper! argh. this is torture.

pure torture.

four years gone by

after watching a classmate's video of her four years in law school, i realized one thing: yes, law school for me is definitely over. after four years of wild academic rush, the dust is now settling and it is dawning on me, gradually, that i can never look at the aps campus the same way again. i have braved through the dreaded recitations, the tortuous midterm and final exams, and the endless class humiliation. and now, it is time to move on. despite all that i have said about how excruciating law school was, the fact that i had made it to where i am now made me re-think the situation. just as how exciting it is to look back on your steps upon reaching the mountain top, the law school's training now seemed a necessary evil for a lifetime of challenges akin to what my alma mater has exposed me to. indeed, i have been prepared the best way possible, and i am ready. ready to look back at my four years without sorrow nor regret, and ready to move forward with keen anticipation and confident hope. yes, my four years in the law school has drawn to a close, and a new curtain has opened up.

all i need to do is make my final bow, look back, and start anew.

battles won and lost

there are battles won, there are battles lost. this time, i lost. valid as my argument may be, there are just some things bigger than others. no matter how hard it is to accept an infraction, the fact remains that the over-all scenario and place of things far outweigh a singular important event. for after all, the totality of what is is what ultimately counts. it is the sum of the whole, all the slices of the pie, the bundle of twigs. it is the whole plethora of the beautiful less the not that yields the remainder as a binding testimony of that which has been uselfishly shared. and to that, no one horrendous experience, no matter how great or terrible, can measure up to. thus, as i've said, i lost. the good taken with the bad still comes short of being bad. without resorting to numbers and counting, the best is present and far outweighs the worst. and to that, i am totally lost, and beaten,

and sad.

life.

surprises

i just arrived from san pablo this early monday morning and i was greeted with the most pleasant surprise. i knew this was forthcoming since two days ago, yet the actual experience of being there and seeing the fruit of admirable effort presented before me somehow takes the knowledge of it on a different level--on a higher plane, if you will. if only for the effort, it's a triple A for you, and i appreciate it. a lot.

thanks.