Today, for the first time since the season began, I felt Christmas. There, in the cool mountain tops of Antipolo church, where the vaguest and the fondest of my childhood memories were piqued by seeing the church again, I finally realized the reason for the season.
And I am so excited to go home.
Merry Christmas everyone. ;p
After what seemed like forever, I have finally finally dragged myself to a massage place to break those nodules and release the long brewing stress. I swear, the first few touches of the masseuse felt like heaven. It gave me chills I never wanted to end. Plus, I was there for more than an hour! That was one long relaxing massage. I couldn't believe I waited for a break from work before I finally gave in to what I was craving for since work started piling up.
I just literally felt all the stress leaving my body, stress from work, from the love life, from the commencing social life.
Sana this signifies the beginning of a relaxing break. So that I can find meaning in the season.
As we all should.
The day is done. At least for now. It's time to rest my mind and body to recharge for an even more hectic day ahead. Nothing productive will come out now. I have pushed my limits for the day. Tomorrow, I will finish the work that should already have been finished. I can't breathe words anymore, at least not this time of the night. So, I gotta sleep. Rest my soul and be in a land where no boss can dictate the pace of my life, where no rules are in existence other than my own.
I have to finish my memorandum, but I gotta clear my memory off of it first.
So I rest for the night. Good night, world. And see you again tomorrow.
Because I updated my blog today, I got curious how far I've come since I started blogging. This particular site has been with me since 2007, but I have been blogging in blogspot since March, 2004. Man, that's almost 6 years ago. I'm getting old.
And none the wiser.
I see I've been having the same dilemma about love every time I'm single. I experience the same thrills during my weekly night outs. I don't dread recitations in law school anymore, but I do still complain about work and the necessary hazards thereof.
It makes me wonder, do people really change? Or do they just revert to the same old routine when faced with the same old problems? We could be stronger, perhaps, but does the repetition of life's challenges somehow make us settle back to the same old persons that we were when we dealt with them in the past?
Yes, I am indeed the same man. A lot of years older but still the same person at the very core.
And I wonder if that's any good.
Hmm...
You know that feeling when someone you used to know really well just all of a sudden seems like a stranger? The eyes that you so lovingly looked at for nights on end suddenly become unrecognizable? The smile that warmed your heart every time lost its flame, and in its stead appears no more than lips curled up on a stranger's face?
Suddenly, the face that you have lovingly memorized becomes a face that you cannot place in your memory. Non-recognition replaces recognition, strangeness edges familiarity. And the person that you used to love
disappears.
And then you realize, you are leaving that person behind. And the future will serve only to further blur your memory of that person. Until in time, the person completely fades away--even in your memory.
At that time, all that will be left are glimpses. Of your lives together, of the time you spent together. But nothing more. That person will cease to be a part of your consciousness.
And indifference replaces love.
Where you will come full circle.
You begin again where you started. Wiser and older, yes, but still where you began ages ago.
Only this time, it's another person. And it's another you.
Welcome back to the roller coaster ride, everyone.
