And I'm finally letting go. Thanks, M. :-)

I miss you.

Discombobulated

How come happy faces pervade the whole gamut of pictures posted in social networking sites all over the net? Where are those that highlight the hurt that any one of us may feel at any given time? Where are the emotions that pierce the veil of our contoured countenances? I want to get real. I want to feel what I feel intently. I no longer want to deny and hide. This whole dance of breaking up and making up is making me tired. And hurt. But it also makes me realize why I always go back in the first place. The closest friend that I have says it's merely a phase. It's just a habit that needs breaking. A conglomeration of safe routines established in a span of less than a year. But I miss the sweet banoffee pie, the hot chocolates, and the late night cuddling that lasted the whole night. Yet it may never happen again. In fact, it nearly never happened. It is the fear of the unknown, of the separation that brought it about in the first place. It is one incoherent stream of colors dancing along a wide spectrum that I could not even begin to grasp and accept.

I am scared and afraid.

Bob Ong

"Alam mo ba kung gaano kalayo ang pagitan ng dalawang tao pag nagtalikuran na sila? Kailangan mong libutin ang buong mundo para lang makaharap ulit ang taong tinalikuran mo."

Suspension

Even playing Farmville brings the feeling of dread, that which comes when you know you are losing someone you truly love.

Bare

BARE

From the musical, Bare

Do you remember the day that you met me?
I swear it was yesterday, I knew with a glance
That you were the question, and you were the answer
That the world would make sense again if I held your hand
Someday you'll look back, and I hope you'll remember
The moment of truth when I knew who I was
How did I learn the truth you gave to me?

I will always remember that first stolen moment
There you were kissing me, and time seemed to freeze
Now I stand at a crossroad and stare at a question
If prayer were the answer I'd fall on my knees
But forward is calling and I cannot stay here
A parting of souls as I try to move on
How do I forget the dream you shared with me?

I've never been this bare / I've never been so scared
I've never felt such honesty / Don't stop we'll never go away
A moment of such peace / Each of us standing bare
Knowing what you mean to me / Knowing who we have to be
Know as you hold my hand / I hope and pray
We're forever you and I / That you'll understand

I know you're here in my heart

Please understand that I tried

Try to see it's not good bye
The act is beginning, the audience waits

No, stay in this moment, where secrets reveal
Here in a world where there's safety in falsehood
I have discovered the one thing that's real
That I love you and I loved you from the start
And if you hold that close to you, we'll never be apart
Please know I loved you...

God, I love you

From the start